So while I sit here waiting (impatiently) for the ok to go to Toronto, I have plenty of time to ponder things. During my one and a half hour commute to work, I got thinking about now that I am only four weeks away from turning 33 (GAH!) what I would tell my naive, innocent 17 year old self.
1996 – 7th form and last year at Wanganui Girls College
Dear 17 year old Ange….
You will get over being called Ange but NEVER get over being called Angie. On that note, make SURE you correct people when they call you Angie by accident, if you don’t correct them within the first two instances of being called Angie you will not be able to stop it.
Do not listen to your mother when she tells you dying your hair black will be a bad idea….it’s a freaking great idea and you will wish you did it sooner.
Use your savings and buy a SLR camera, shoot film, shoot Black and White film. Do not waste your whole roll of film taking photos of the cats. But shoot lots of film, and get into a darkroom. You will wish that you had this sort of opportunity in 15 years!
You should never have done Calculus and Physics….drop them now and do History and Photography instead. You will most likely be a much happier person having some form of creative outlet.
Start running now…it will hurt like hell and you will hate it but it does you good. And it wouldn’t hurt to improve your fitness. Right now you are obsessed with how fat you are. You are not fat, you don’t get fat until you are 25. Then when you are 31 you look back at your 21 year old body and wish you still had it and appreciate it more. Realise that you will never love your body, but that very few people do. It is normal.
Stop trying to be everyone’s friend and worrying about pissing people off. This is life, you can’t like everyone, everyone can’t like you, get over it! The real friends you have, you will have for life and they are the sort of relationships that will be the most fulfilling. Your best friends will be the people you might not talk to for months, but when you do talk it’s like you have never been apart.
Tequila is not your friend. You will always have a rocky relationship.
Do not wait until you are 31 to find the joys of false eyelashes and hair extensions. Also you should start practising with the black eyeliner. It takes freaking years to get it right and you still can’t do it properly! Forget the purple, green and blue of your early 20’s, go with the black!
Understand that you will be entering some extremely hard times over the next few years, but that these will define you and make you the person I am today. It’s ok and you will get through it. And in the end you will meet the person who is your greatest strength and will help you to take that last step to be free. You will be happy.